Daddy, why?

You are driven
by the meaningless
and loveless abuse

But you agonize
those you neglect.

Praying for mercy
Unwilling to give it
Praying for love
To busy to understand it

All the trimmings you are entitled to
Hold you back
And keep you
Off track with me

Young
trying to deny the fact
Her own father denies her

She waits besides the phone
On thanksgiving for the birthday call
But no one calls with his voice

But so young
She denies her fathers distance

Old enough to understand
"love" is an abused word
A word has so much value
Yet can be spoken
Without emphasis

Hiding behind your false youth
Living as if I never existed
Some say it is sad
You don't know me

But I have grown up with the step-father
I deserve

At times I can feel my heart fall
Between words
Fall between a steel pulse
Of all you won't say
And all I can't ask.


As a teenage girl you tend to think of the future...
The tears begin to fall
All that is left to say is...

You have one life to live

You weren't there when I needed you
you weren't there when I needed a hug
You were not there when I scrapped my knee
You most likely will not be there when I graduate

I am still young
And searching
For desperation
Which has become the honest recognition
of a false truth.

This is your chance
There is no combination
no key
No question

That will clear up the dust
that has gathered and settled
in between our hearts

It has already been decided
For us, by us
I have all of my pieces intact
I am no longer fragile

I am stronger
No longer in denial
But, now the question still remains

Do you think you deserve to be called "daddy"
On my wedding day?
Do you deserve to walk your daughter, Fallyn
Down the isle?

Fallyn Yancey
Age 14